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College Essay Boot Camp
Kai Henriksen - Laguna Application Essay
Describe the first time you heard about LCAD. Include two things that we offer that you believe will be most beneficial for you.
It was 7:00 am on a Saturday and rays of sunlight were creeping past my curtains as I lifted myself out of my cozy bed and padded into my parents’ office. After pressing the small power button, the computer whirred to life and the display illuminated the room with an eerie yet familiar blue glow. I slouched into the squeaky office chair and began my routine of playing Star Wars video games until my family started their day. When I was 10 and had more free time than I knew what to do with, I became fascinated with game art and design while playing computer games on my dad’s PC. I loved getting immersed in different worlds and storylines that were engaging and challenging for hours on end. Early in my life I decided I wanted to be a game designer. Even though my focus has shifted a bit more towards illustration, my passion still lies in creating enchanting worlds and characters like those I grew up with. Two things that I have grown to value which Laguna offers are unique majors and a small community.
I knew Laguna was the place for me after seeing the list of majors and wishing I could take part in every one. This was one of the few colleges I’ve discovered where the course titles alone inspired me at first glance. Throughout my high school career, I’ve become progressively interested in the arts but haven’t been able to decide between focusing on illustration or game art/design. Once I explored the majors at Laguna through browsing over student work, looking at the course listings, and hearing what the professors had to say, I fell in love with those two departments. After seeing the spectrum of classes and beautiful work that is created at Laguna, no other college I investigated afterward could compare.
I think I would flourish in the small community found at Laguna because it is very similar to the high school I currently attend. We have approximately 260 students here at Animas High School, which makes it very easy to be an active member of the student body. I really appreciate having a small student-to-faculty ratio because it allows me to create strong relationships with my teachers and other students in the school. I appreciate a small community because it gives me the opportunity to create permanent installations and additions to the campus which I don’t think would be possible without a close-knit and supportive culture. In my sophomore year, I had the opportunity to remodel an amphitheater on our campus to make it a better environment for classes and other activities. It was a very fulfilling project and I thoroughly enjoyed the sense of making the campus more beautiful for the students and faculty. Laguna College of Art and Design would afford me the same opportunities to become a part of a small community, with the added benefit of allowing me to focus exclusively on my artistic interests.
Describe the first time you heard about LCAD. Include two things that we offer that you believe will be most beneficial for you.
- 300-500 word limit
- Current word count: 499 words
It was 7:00 am on a Saturday and rays of sunlight were creeping past my curtains as I lifted myself out of my cozy bed and padded into my parents’ office. After pressing the small power button, the computer whirred to life and the display illuminated the room with an eerie yet familiar blue glow. I slouched into the squeaky office chair and began my routine of playing Star Wars video games until my family started their day. When I was 10 and had more free time than I knew what to do with, I became fascinated with game art and design while playing computer games on my dad’s PC. I loved getting immersed in different worlds and storylines that were engaging and challenging for hours on end. Early in my life I decided I wanted to be a game designer. Even though my focus has shifted a bit more towards illustration, my passion still lies in creating enchanting worlds and characters like those I grew up with. Two things that I have grown to value which Laguna offers are unique majors and a small community.
I knew Laguna was the place for me after seeing the list of majors and wishing I could take part in every one. This was one of the few colleges I’ve discovered where the course titles alone inspired me at first glance. Throughout my high school career, I’ve become progressively interested in the arts but haven’t been able to decide between focusing on illustration or game art/design. Once I explored the majors at Laguna through browsing over student work, looking at the course listings, and hearing what the professors had to say, I fell in love with those two departments. After seeing the spectrum of classes and beautiful work that is created at Laguna, no other college I investigated afterward could compare.
I think I would flourish in the small community found at Laguna because it is very similar to the high school I currently attend. We have approximately 260 students here at Animas High School, which makes it very easy to be an active member of the student body. I really appreciate having a small student-to-faculty ratio because it allows me to create strong relationships with my teachers and other students in the school. I appreciate a small community because it gives me the opportunity to create permanent installations and additions to the campus which I don’t think would be possible without a close-knit and supportive culture. In my sophomore year, I had the opportunity to remodel an amphitheater on our campus to make it a better environment for classes and other activities. It was a very fulfilling project and I thoroughly enjoyed the sense of making the campus more beautiful for the students and faculty. Laguna College of Art and Design would afford me the same opportunities to become a part of a small community, with the added benefit of allowing me to focus exclusively on my artistic interests.
Essay Reflection
I grew as a writer through crafting this college essay by having to determine what was truly necessary to tell the admissions office in order to not go over my word limit. This was very hard for me because I usually just write until I run out of ideas and then refine what I wrote but in this case I really had to be hypercritical and choose what I said carefully. I feel like I have more of a sense of how to cut unnecessary words or phrases out of my writing because I had to remove a lot of phrases that were already implied, or excess words that didn’t contribute to the point I was trying to make. One example of this is my conclusion for my essay.
The first conclusion I wrote was “I think Laguna College of Art and Design would be the best fit for me because I believe I would thrive in a place with a small community of people that really want to be there, that also allowed me to solely focus on my artistic interests”. This was just too long and I didn’t do a very good job of concisely bringing my paper to a close. Lori later helped me rewrite this conclusion which explained my ideas in a more condensed format; “Laguna College of Art and Design would afford me the same opportunities to become a part of a small community, with the added benefit of allowing me to focus exclusively on my artistic interests”.
I received a lot of feedback from my peers and Lori that pushed me to create a new hook and use descriptive writing to captivate my reader as well as show where my passion for the subject started. “It was 7:00 am on a Saturday and rays of sunlight were creeping past my curtains as I lifted myself out of my cozy bed and padded into my parents’ office. After pressing the small power button, the computer whirred to life and the display illuminated the room with an eerie yet familiar blue glow. I slouched into the squeaky office chair and began my routine of playing Star Wars video games until my family started their day”. I thought this was a great change and improved my first paragraph as well as my essay as a whole.
In a way I was forced to experience this growth because I had to cut a lot of pieces out of my essay in order to add the intro and stay below the word limit but I’ve never really had to do this to my writing before and I learned a lot from it. I don’t know if I’d be able to write the initial draft in this way but I now know how to eliminate unnecessary pieces of writing after I get my thoughts down on paper. Lori introduced the process of going through the essay and deleting redundant phrases or unnecessary words based on what the reader will be thinking as they read the essay. I think going through the essay with the mindset of the reader (or admissions officer) is very beneficial because it makes it easier for me to be more harsh on myself and my writing.
Colleges I'm thinking about applying to:
Pacific University
Portland State University
Laguna College of Art and Design
George Fox University
Champlain College
Chico University
University of Montana
The first conclusion I wrote was “I think Laguna College of Art and Design would be the best fit for me because I believe I would thrive in a place with a small community of people that really want to be there, that also allowed me to solely focus on my artistic interests”. This was just too long and I didn’t do a very good job of concisely bringing my paper to a close. Lori later helped me rewrite this conclusion which explained my ideas in a more condensed format; “Laguna College of Art and Design would afford me the same opportunities to become a part of a small community, with the added benefit of allowing me to focus exclusively on my artistic interests”.
I received a lot of feedback from my peers and Lori that pushed me to create a new hook and use descriptive writing to captivate my reader as well as show where my passion for the subject started. “It was 7:00 am on a Saturday and rays of sunlight were creeping past my curtains as I lifted myself out of my cozy bed and padded into my parents’ office. After pressing the small power button, the computer whirred to life and the display illuminated the room with an eerie yet familiar blue glow. I slouched into the squeaky office chair and began my routine of playing Star Wars video games until my family started their day”. I thought this was a great change and improved my first paragraph as well as my essay as a whole.
In a way I was forced to experience this growth because I had to cut a lot of pieces out of my essay in order to add the intro and stay below the word limit but I’ve never really had to do this to my writing before and I learned a lot from it. I don’t know if I’d be able to write the initial draft in this way but I now know how to eliminate unnecessary pieces of writing after I get my thoughts down on paper. Lori introduced the process of going through the essay and deleting redundant phrases or unnecessary words based on what the reader will be thinking as they read the essay. I think going through the essay with the mindset of the reader (or admissions officer) is very beneficial because it makes it easier for me to be more harsh on myself and my writing.
Colleges I'm thinking about applying to:
Pacific University
Portland State University
Laguna College of Art and Design
George Fox University
Champlain College
Chico University
University of Montana